IN MY SILENCE

Many things may have changed now. I know for a fact that I have changed—from the grade school loner who spent recess time sitting by herself, singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” to herself while sketching on the back pages of her notebook, oblivious to the majority of the class shrieking their lungs out while playing patintero in the streets, to the inexplicably animated hyperactive college girl—and yet, I’ve always remained as that girl who thought too much. Thinking, along with the fondness for collecting trivia (I once answered the question ‘What does J&B stand for?’ in split-second), seems to be an activity I never get tired of. I’ve been unknowingly asking myself too many how’s what’s, why’s, and what if’s to the point of self-torture.Sometimes I laugh out loud at a crazy thought, only to realize a bit too late that I have laughed to myself OUT LOUD in a PUBLIC UTILITY VEHICLE. By then, eleven faces with the “what’s-wrong-with-this-girl” look plastered on them stare at me incredulously.Sometimes, the answer to THAT QUESTION is “Nothing.” I seem to have this unbelievable capacity of zapping into the farthest corners of the universe in the midst of a conversation. One moment I’m with you, the next I’d be…gone. No wonder there’s someone I know whose way of greeting me is, “Come back to earth!” Spacing out and Thinking may be two different things, but sometimes they pretty much mean the same…so next time, when I answer you with “I am not thinking of anything, really, I was just spacing out”... Don't believe me.