How the Tin (Wo)Man Found a Heart

August 1, 2008

The tin (wo)man had long wanted a heart
From the day they convinced her that she had none.
She believed what they told her,
For most of the time, she felt nothing.
An occasional beat would make her falter.
But it was too weak, and in the end she’d scold herself:
“No it’s no heartbeat, silly.
It must only be a distant car’s roar
Or a thunderclap.
Or an earthquake.”
And so she believed.
Time passed and the tin (wo)man
Traveled to distant lands
To search for a heart
But no one would give her theirs
For each of them had only one
And they told her they would die if they gave it to her.
The tin (wo)man started getting impatient
That she told herself that she will settle
For the closest she could get to one.
And so she met Fools who gave her their false hearts
(Not their real ones for they would die)
But these gave her bad memories and tears.
She grew tired and weary
From being deceived and from deceiving herself
And so the tin (wo)man finally decided
That she was better off without a heart
Than have one that’s untrue.
She liked the way the false ones
Sounded so real when they thump-thump-thumped
But she did not like the sad memories and tears
That came with them
Like hearts that came from Fools.
And so the tin (wo)man
Resolved in her mind of minds
(she would have with a heart of hearts, if she had one)
That she no longer wanted a heart.
She’d be happy with a genuine one if it comes,
But without it, she’ll be fine.
Then one day, without her knowing,
The tin (wo)man found her heart.
At first she heard a weak beat.
She started to think again
That maybe it was just another distant car’s roar
Or another thunderclap, or earthquake
But she would not believe it anymore
And so she put her hand to her chest and listened.
And all her sorrows fell through cracks on the walls
All her sadness flew out the window
For she found out that she had a heart all along,
And she believed that this was so.
She just didn’t know before because of a lie
And she was too busy with her search for one.
Thump-thump-thump, it went
And she listened to it beat, with great delight
And she did not fear anything, not even sad memories or tears
(For she did not know if her heart came with those, too, after all.)
What was important, she said, was that her heart was real
And she did not have to look for one anymore.