Flight

It's been a long time since I wrote these lines...and I'm happy. :-)

Take what's left of my heart
In your hands
And hail a taxi cab.
Drive away, never look back.
Throw it out the window while you can.

(Poem, Work In Progress)

Delirium’s Eyes

Delirium’s eyes are blue and green.
Hers are two colors at the same time.
Delirium’s eyes can reveal distant yearning
Or whims and wishes kept inside.

Delirium's eyes show longing and wanting.
Thoughts appear and disappear like soap bubbles
Or floating fish, or butterflies
Delirium is holding on to sanity with a death-like grip
And fails.

Are those tears I see, threatening to fall?
She is scared, for even the Endless feel.
She stopped being Delight for a reason,
And be the girl with mismatched eyes

(photo from http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0c/Delirium_Sandman.jpg/200px-Delirium_Sandman.jpg)

Television

I don’t watch TV anymore. Some people find it strange when I tell them so. Their jaws drop as if I’ve just said I won the lottery (I’ve never tried betting either).
I stopped watching TV when I was in college. I lived in dormitories which were quite all right and pretty comfortable for me. We had “TV areas” that had the most uncomfortable seats, though-- hard, wooden, stiff-backed, uncomfortable seats. The only instances I watched TV were those when I could not make it to the UAAP Cheerdance Competition (I was a UP Pep Squad sort-of groupie). I do not mind the discomfort when I am cheering for the UP Pep Squad, or laughing at our opponents. The UAAP Cheerdance Competition is one those times you feel really really proud of being a UP student. My friend Mich once wrote about our war cry (“UP Fight”) “Fight what?” and I could not blame her.


After our first month at our new place, my rommmate and I sold our television set. She does not watch TV either. Not watching TV has allowed me to do so many things: read more books, exercise, and cook. If I need to know current events, I just check online newspapers. Besides, I do not experience those horrid instances anymore wherein I see a decapitated person in the evening news while I’m having my dinner.)


Not watching TV has also made me oblivious to “celebrities” around me, which sometimes creates a communication problem between me and a friend.

Illustration: Tomato Kick, UP Village, around 11 PM

Friend: (Incredulously) OMG OMG. Can I take a picture?

Me: What? Why? What are you talking about?

Friend: You know…Chad…of PDA…he’s right behind you. OMG!

Me: What’s PDA? (I am shameless when I’m with my friends. I do not pretend knowing what they are talking about when I don’t. I know PDA as in the device or PDA as in public display of affection. I figured she probably meant neither of the two.)

Friend: Pinoy Dream Academy. That’s Chad from PDA!

Me: I don’t watch TV. I don’t know him.

Friend : Is that his girl friend? Is it rude to take a picture?

Me: Yes, it’s rude to take a picture.

Friend: (Sad face.) Oh. Actually I saw him the other day in Eastwood. The person I was with pointed out that he was with his girl friend. I think that’s his sister.

Me: Yeah. Maybe. Hey, they’re wearing identical Chucks. Purple Chucks. (My brain: Is he gay? Maybe not.)

Friend: OMG. I think he recognizes me. You see, I really stared at him in Eastwood. Can you please stay there? Don’t leave. I don’t want him to see me.

Me: Pull yourself together.



There are times when I wish I have a TV though. During the weekend the typhoon Frank ravaged our province, I received phone calls and SMS, asking about my family. They all started with, “I just saw it on the news.” My reply was, “I don’t watch TV”. After a few seconds of confusion (i.e., “You don’t watch TV?!”) and they explain how my province is among those hit the hardest by “Frank”. I called my sister but her phone was dead. I could not reach my mother’s phone either. I panicked. Finally, I was able to reach my father. Apparently, they all ran out of batteries because there has not been any electricity). I should have thought of calling my father first. He’s the one who least uses his phone so he probably should be the last to run out of batteries in such cases. Nota Bene, Lorie, in case it happens again.

How the Tin (Wo)Man Found a Heart

August 1, 2008

The tin (wo)man had long wanted a heart
From the day they convinced her that she had none.
She believed what they told her,
For most of the time, she felt nothing.
An occasional beat would make her falter.
But it was too weak, and in the end she’d scold herself:
“No it’s no heartbeat, silly.
It must only be a distant car’s roar
Or a thunderclap.
Or an earthquake.”
And so she believed.
Time passed and the tin (wo)man
Traveled to distant lands
To search for a heart
But no one would give her theirs
For each of them had only one
And they told her they would die if they gave it to her.
The tin (wo)man started getting impatient
That she told herself that she will settle
For the closest she could get to one.
And so she met Fools who gave her their false hearts
(Not their real ones for they would die)
But these gave her bad memories and tears.
She grew tired and weary
From being deceived and from deceiving herself
And so the tin (wo)man finally decided
That she was better off without a heart
Than have one that’s untrue.
She liked the way the false ones
Sounded so real when they thump-thump-thumped
But she did not like the sad memories and tears
That came with them
Like hearts that came from Fools.
And so the tin (wo)man
Resolved in her mind of minds
(she would have with a heart of hearts, if she had one)
That she no longer wanted a heart.
She’d be happy with a genuine one if it comes,
But without it, she’ll be fine.
Then one day, without her knowing,
The tin (wo)man found her heart.
At first she heard a weak beat.
She started to think again
That maybe it was just another distant car’s roar
Or another thunderclap, or earthquake
But she would not believe it anymore
And so she put her hand to her chest and listened.
And all her sorrows fell through cracks on the walls
All her sadness flew out the window
For she found out that she had a heart all along,
And she believed that this was so.
She just didn’t know before because of a lie
And she was too busy with her search for one.
Thump-thump-thump, it went
And she listened to it beat, with great delight
And she did not fear anything, not even sad memories or tears
(For she did not know if her heart came with those, too, after all.)
What was important, she said, was that her heart was real
And she did not have to look for one anymore.